


pastel

by sushishorts



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M, genderfluid kenma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-11-01
Updated: 2015-11-01
Packaged: 2018-04-29 09:08:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,297
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5122646
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sushishorts/pseuds/sushishorts
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shibuya had always been a busy district, so a normal person would hardly notice, given the amount of people around, but because Kuroo was a curious soul, he took a second glance and stared hard enough.</p><p>There, he noticed that the person in the pastel dress was his childhood friend, Kozume Kenma.</p>
            </blockquote>





	pastel

**Author's Note:**

> this is very highly inspired by "udagawachou de mattete yo"
> 
> i thought about making this a multichaptered thing, or at least a little bit longer, but the inspiration died out when i got to the end. who knows, i might write kenma's side of the story, but it might take me a little more time since i have to research on genderfluidity in general. still, enjoy.

Kuroo first saw it in Udagawachou.

Shibuya had always been a busy district, so a normal person would hardly notice, given the amount of people around, but because Kuroo was a curious soul, he took a second glance and stared hard enough.

There, he noticed that the person in the pastel dress was his childhood friend, Kozume Kenma.

Except Kenma was a guy, as far as Kuroo knew. But this person had long blond hair and wore a soft shade of eyeshadow and a mellow color of lipstick. If Kuroo didn't know Kenma at all, he would have thought that the person was a girl.

It took him a moment of before he approached the person and grabbed his arm.

The person's eyes widened -- in shock or in terror, he wasn't quite sure how to place it, but in two seconds flat, he was able to remove Kuroo's grip from his arm and was able to run away, and Kuroo was left there dumbfounded.

 

 

The next day, Kuroo struggled.

Practice was going well and there wasn't anything different in their routine, except from the fact that he couldn't stop staring at Kenma.

He knew Kenma well enough to know if he was affected by it, and so far, he could tell that Kenma was a little off. He knew someone was watching him -- he probably knew it was Kuroo, to be honest, but Kuroo was quick on his feet -- and that caused him to set a little poorly that day. Coach Nekomata let him off with a warning after practice, and Kenma only nodded in response. Kuroo felt a little guilty.

Kuroo waited for him to finish dressing up, sitting idly on the chair in the middle of the locker room. While fiddling on his phone, however, Kenma mumbled, "Uh, Kuroo?"

"Hm?"

“Could you, um, step out for a bit?"

Kuroo only stared at him for a second before shrugging, grabbing his bag and taking a quick exit from the club room. It struck him as weird, of course, because Kenma has never been shy about his body before, but Kuroo knew better than actually question him so quickly.

Yesterday was something they should talk about, after all.

The door to the club room opened slightly and Kenma was asking him to come back inside.

"Hurry up, I have to lock the doo--"

A few things Kuroo was sure of:

Kuroo was sure he ate properly every day, because that one time he didn't in grade school, he started hallucinating and thought his classmate's arm was the school's legendary yakisoba bread, and he ended up biting the poor guy's arm that might have resulted to slight bleeding. He ended up getting reprimanded by the teacher and the nurse, and he hated every second of it. (By the end of the day, Kenma has heard of what happened, and gave him his apple pie to cheer him up. Kenma was 8 then.)

Kuroo was also sure he had perfect vision. Not that he was the type to discriminate, but he knew how inconvenient it was to play with glasses on. So he made sure not to read in the dark, eat his carrots, and take extra care of his eyes.

And finally, Kuroo was pretty sure Kenma was a guy. (They bathed together when they were young. He was very sure.)

Except the person in front of him was the culmination of every single doubt Kuroo has in his body.

Kuroo was sure that he was hallucinating. (It was probably the heat. Did he remember to eat lunch? He ate three melon breads earlier, and Kenma shared his lunch with him. The eel was good.) Because in front of him was Kenma in the school's girl's uniform, his hair extending past his shoulders and face all dolled up.

He could even smell strawberries.

"K-Ken... ma...?"

"Does it look weird?"

It didn't. It looked so good on him that Kuroo was pretty damn sure he was in love with his best friend. He liked how shy Kenma stood in the middle of the club room, how the thigh high socks he was wearing hugged his legs on the right places, how Kenma's lips looked so pink and plump, how his hands fiddled with the hem of his skirt, and how Kenma stared at him hopefully throughout his examination.

Kuroo's throat felt dry. The air in the room felt too suffocating, so he stepped out in a rush and breathed in.

Kenma looked so cute. And Kuroo didn't even think about how weird it may seem because he loved the uniform on Kenma.

When he was ready to tell him all this, Kenma was already in his actual uniform, and Kuroo was confused as to why.

"Wait, why are you--"

"I know, it's disgusting for me to dress up like this and you'd want nothing to do with me anymore," Kenma was saying with a betrayed tome in his voice.

"Kenma, that's not--" Kuroo tried to stop him, but Kenma stepped off and yelled, "Don't touch me!"

Kuroo could only watch as Kenma wiped off the light make-up he had on and run out of the club room.

 

 

When they had fights in the past, Kuroo would always come by and make up with Kenma. It wasn't something that happened often, but those times when he was alone reminded him of how special Kenma was to him that he'd rather swallow his pride over something so stupid than lose Kenma altogether.

This case, however, required Kuroo to think about it more.

He happened to be at Udagawachou for an errand, and he was on his way home when he saw Kenma standing there, almost like he was waiting. For a while, Kuroo thought about it; thought about why he even looked back. He realized that more than anything, regardless of who it was, the person looked beautiful and comfortable in that pastel dress. It just happened to be Kenma, and that was the thing that took him by surprise.

Still, he wondered why Kenma thought Kuroo found him disgusting when all he wanted was to stare at him more, but the air became so overwhelmingly thick that he couldn't breathe. Kenma was literally breathtaking. Kuroo wanted to keep him to himself and hide him from prying eyes--

_What?_

Possessiveness wasn't something Kuroo was known for, but suddenly he felt feral, predatorily so-- he felt like Kenma was his to keep and it made him sick on his stomach.

 

 

On his graduation in middle school, he realized he was in love with Kenma.

It wasn't entirely overwhelming, maybe because they were doing their routine of walking home. But the colors around them were orange and gold, and somehow it reflected in Kenma's eyes when he looked up at him, and Kuroo started thinking too much, like how he's going to be forced to walk this route alone for a year, or how Kenma will be setting for a team without Kuroo in it, or he might rarely see Kenma at all...

Everything felt so cold all of a sudden.

Kenma walked to him and only then did he notice that he stopped walking. Kuroo noticed Kenma's worry and he tried to smile it off as nothing, but as he expected, Kenma was looking past his façade, as always.

"Won't you feel lonely?" Kuroo asked, mainly for himself, because he wanted to know if Kenma could make it without him. "Without me, I mean."

"It's just a year," Kenma shrugged it off like Kuroo was talking nonsense.

Kuroo felt a bit of himself die then, and promised to himself that he'd never speak nor act according to his possessive nature.

 

 

"Oba-san, is Kenma home?"

For years Kuroo had been going inside the Kozume household as if it was his own, so it wasn't any different when he came to visit that evening. Auntie had been in the kitchen preparing dinner, but Kenma was nowhere to be found.

"He's in his room," Auntie answered with a wistful sigh. "He hasn't eaten dinner, and he even rejected dessert!"

"Do you want me to bring it up to him? It's sort of my fault," Kuroo admitted with an apologetic smile, scratching the back of his neck unconsciously.

“What did you fight about?” She asked without any change in her tone, and that scared Kuroo a bit.

“I’m… not quite sure. He might have misunderstood something.”

She sighed with a tired smile. “He has always been the type who thought too much and often jumped into conclusions. Still, be patient with him, Tetsurou. He’s just… figuring things out.”

Kuroo took the tray off the table and noticed how Oba-san exerted extra effort on the dessert – apple pie.

 

 

Kuroo never knocked when he entered Kenma’s room all these years. Except today was an exception, and he wasn’t sure what to expect.

“Kenma, I have your apple pie hostage. Surrender now or the apple pie suffers.”

“Come in.”

Strewn across the floor were various intensities of pastel dresses, and Kuroo felt a sense of panic when he saw Kenma gather them up into a garbage bag. Kuroo immediately placed the tray on the table and grabbed the bag from Kenma’s hands, earning a confused look from the blonde.

“What are you doing?!” Kuroo found himself asking.

“What are _you_ doing?” Kenma asked back, trying to reach for the garbage bag. “Give it back! They’re mine to throw away!”

“But why? They make you so happy!”

“But you hate them!”

“Says who?”

It was surprising how Kuroo’s voice raised, but it stopped Kenma from grabbing the bag back.

“You,” Kenma looked genuinely confused but he tried voicing it out somehow. “You stepped out of the room—”

“Because it got too hot and I couldn’t breathe—“

“You felt disgusted—“

“No! I would never!”

“You’re just saying that,” Kenma frowned deeply, taking advantage of the situation to grab the garbage bag back. “Kuroo, it’s okay. That was the last time I’d do that, anyway—”

“You looked beautiful!”

The room was silent. Kuroo could hear his heartbeat pounding all the way to his head and he watched as Kenma turned red as a beet. Kuroo grabbed back the bag and closed the door behind him, hoping the shouting didn’t alert Oba-san that much. He stepped closer to Kenma and sighed.

“I’d like to see it again.”

“But you…”

“If this is who you are then I will embrace it with open arms, but please don’t question my approval for it. I really did like it. Fuck, forget liking it,” Kuroo cupped Kenma’s cheeks and kept their foreheads linked. “I loved it. So please,” Kuroo grinned. “Please don’t throw them away.”

Kenma looked up at him and asked, “Do you want to see me in them?”

 

 

It was enthralling, in a way, how Kenma slipped into a dress and everything just… changed.

Still, he knew it was still Kenma, no matter what. But watching him transform into this different person was something Kuroo could admittedly watch all day. He didn’t see it as erotic, but he liked how Kenma slipped into those tights, fixing it around his waist. He also liked how his mouth was slightly ajar as he put on a tiny film of mascara, and how he smiled to himself when he seemed satisfied at how it looked. When Kenma reached for the lipstick, however, Kuroo asked, “Can I put it on you?”

Kenma looked slightly worried, but nodded anyway, and Kuroo smiled at that.

Kuroo asked Kenma to sit on his lap, and the blond shyly straddled Kuroo’s waist and closed his eyes, puckering his lips. Sometimes, Kuroo thinks that the gods were testing his patience, but then again, he literally asked for this. So there he went, rolling the tube of rouge and dabbing it away on Kenma’s lips. He was a little clumsy, but he tried to keep the lipstick on the lips. When he was finished, Kenma pressed his lips together to finish it off, and Kuroo was in love.

Here was his childhood friend, his best friend in the whole wide world, sitting on his lap in the cutest peach-colored dress, white knee-socks and pastel blue Mary Janes. From that view, he could count how many eyelashes Kenma has and how well defined his eyes were thanks to that eyeliner. He could also see how soft-looking Kenma’s lips were, and he wanted to figure out if it really was.

So with his hand on the back of Kenma’s neck, he closed whatever distance they have and pressed their lips together, soft and careful.

(Kuroo couldn’t stop staring: Kenma’s cheeks reddening by the second, Kenma’s ears, Kenma’s eyes, Kenma’s _everything_ —)

“I’m scared,” Kenma said in a whisper, looking anywhere else but at him. It was a shame, Kuroo thought, because Kenma’s eyes were gorgeous in any light. “I’ve been wanting to tell you for so long.”

“I’m in love you,” Kuroo admitted, breathing in before adding, “I really am.”

“I know,” Kenma smiled. “I hope it isn’t because I wear girl’s clothing.”

“Of course not,” Kuroo looked appalled of the idea. “It just made me love you even more, I think. Knowing everything about you.”

Not knowing what else to tell Kenma without overwhelming him, he started kissing Kenma everywhere, and the blonde only sighed into each one, as if this is the exact thing he’s been waiting for all along.

“One last question,” Kuroo mumbled, reaching for Kenma’s hands and intertwining their fingers together.

“Hmm?” Kenma let out a small noise to make him proceed with the question.

“Will you let me buy you clothes?”

 

 

When Kenma wore the third dress he bought for him, Kuroo was entirely sure that Kenma looked his best in pastel.


End file.
